By Megan Cohen
- Going to bed at 2 AM seems early to you.
How could you be so tired when you got a solid four hours last night? Maybe you’ll try and get more next time (spoiler alert: you won’t).
- You haven’t been able to fully open your eyes in weeks.
Everyone keeps asking if you forgot to put in your contacts. You have 20/20 vision.
- “I’m tired,” has become your explanation for everything.
Why didn’t you do your homework? You’re tired. How come you haven’t said anything for the past hour? You’re tired. Why aren’t you in bed yet? You’re tired.
- You communicate exclusively through sounds.
It took them a while, but now your friends can understand what you mean when you make noises reminiscent of a dying animal’s. Forming actual words requires energy, and you’ve got none of that.
- Walking in a straight line is no longer possible.
You know you annoy everyone in the hallway, but you’ve got places to be, and if getting there involves almost knocking over strangers, then so be it.
- The dark circles under your eyes have become permanent.
In fact, “dark circles” is an understatement. They’re more like black circles. The original remedy used to be more sleep, but 1) that’s not going to happen and 2) they’re here to stay now.
- You’re eating breakfast at 2 PM.
Forget about convention, the day will start when you want it to. So no matter what time you wake up, go ahead and eat your waffles.
