By Megan Cohen
- You’ve formed emotional attachments to all of its characters.
When the protagonist tells a stupid joke, you swear you can feel their embarrassment. When someone gets dumped, you take it worse than they do. It may not be happening to you (and technically, it’s not happening to them either), but it might as well be.
- Your friends are getting tired of you.
All you can talk about is how frustrated you are that two characters haven’t gotten together yet, or how much you cried last week when someone ended up in the hospital. Even if they liked the same show, they don’t anymore, because every interaction with you involves an intense discussion about plot development. But don’t worry, you don’t need them. You have Walter White.
- The thought of it getting cancelled actually terrifies you.
Some people fear poverty or global destruction, but you’re too busy worrying about your show’s vitality to concern yourself with that nonsense. You’ve already prepared several angry e-mails to send to AMC executives in case they do anything rash.
- You haven’t slept in four days.
Last time you checked, it was a sunny Saturday morning. But once you finally venture out of your room, it’s pitch black outside, and you’ve got school the next day. Well, in the words of John Lennon, “Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted.”
- Anyone that doesn’t like it is dead to you.
She’s been your best friend since you were three years old, but she also thinks Suits is boring. Time to find a replacement.
- Your family is staging an intervention.
You come home to find everyone you know sitting in a circle of chairs. Your father tells you how concerned they are while your mother empties a box of tissues. Maybe you have a problem, but you kind of like your problem.
- During the off-season, you feel like there’s a giant hole in your life.
How can you be expected to function properly when it’s been three weeks since a new episode aired? Until that changes, you’re going to spend your time lying on your bed and watching the ceiling fan rotate. If only they knew your struggle.
