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Snowpocalypse Part 2

Snowpocalypse Part II

By Jordan Ogden


What do polar bears, icebergs, frostbite, wind, and Frozen make you think of? It should be either skinny dipping in a glacial lake with polar bears on Christmas Day in Siberia or Leesburg’s 2013-2014 long, harsh winter. While they seem like two different things, when you think about it, they’re almost the same thing.


Remembering the winter of 2013 may include flashing images of shoveling snow, sitting by the fireplace for warmth, and polar bear wrestling. It appeared as though the weather couldn’t get any more extreme; It seems, however, that the winter of 2014 is going to be the worst yet.


According to the legendary Farmer’s Almanac, this year’s weather in Virginia is going to be cold and stormy. It appears the western portion of the U.S. will have less snowfall, while the east coast, especially the northern half, will be continuously beat down with storms. According to the almanac, this winter is going to be “crisp and very stormy.”


Multiple weather sites have been able to support these predictions. The Weather Centre, a trustworthy blog that collects data from almanacs and forecasts, includes a map of weather predictions for the U.S., which indicates that the northeastern portion may have temperatures that are colder than normal. But, on the opposite end of the country, the data suggests that the northwest will actually be warmer than usual. Everywhere else in the United States will have normal temperatures.


It seems this winter is not only going to affect students’ attendance, but their overall workload.


Sophomores Derek Carll and Jazmin Ocampo both share similar views on the topic. “I believe that after last year’s storms, teachers this year will be more aware of the threat [the snow storms can impose],” said Carll. Ocamppo agreed with Carll and said: “The teachers should be more prepared after last year.”


Ms. Watson, a math teacher, doesn’t believe that her classes will fall behind. “Last year, the snow days did not affect my [Algebra II/Trig] classes but did put my [Pre-calculus classes] behind,” she said. She continued by stating that most other subjects were affected by the snow days too.


Teachers are highly recommending that students work really hard this winter on homework and studying, because it looks like it’s going to be one tough winter.

Now, students might be surprised when hearing this info and these beautifully crafted words probably could strike fear into the depths of anyone’s soul. But, alas, there is a list that might just make this winter more than bearable. So, without further ado… the savior of all lists.

Jordan’s Super-Sick Survival Supplies and Stuff.: (Not including shipping)

1.Microwave slippers $12.99 via eBay (They were invented for a reason.)

  1. Snuggie $14.99 via (Needs no explanation.)
  2. Genuine Muskrat Pelts $12.00 each via (Buy like six of these and a snuggie, and Siberian skinny dipping will seem like a joke.)
  3. A pint of snow cone syrup $5.95 via (Might as well make use of the snow…)
  4. Hundred Dollar Bill Tissues $4.41 via (To fulfill the life long dream you know you had)
  5. Handtrux $17.99 via (Meant for sand, perfect for snowball fights.)

Websites used as info for second paragraph:


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